Tuesday, July 8, 2008

50-48 #14: EMERGENCY UPDATE: WITH METAPHORICAL TEARS STREAMING DOWN MY VERY NON-METAPHORICAL FACE, I CONVEY TO YOU THIS MESSAGE OF PEACE, HOPE, AND RE

(Originally published 1/9/07)

50-48 #14: EMERGENCY UPDATE: WITH METAPHORICAL TEARS STREAMING DOWN MY VERY NON-METAPHORICAL FACE, I CONVEY TO YOU THIS MESSAGE OF PEACE, HOPE, AND REDEMPTION: THE LAST BRICK IS ON THE PYRAMID; THE WEIGHT IS OFF OUR SHOULDERS; WE ARE NOT SLAVES ANYMORE

Chancellor John White (Concentrated Evil), one of the principal reasons for the U of A's athletic and academic ruin, is "resigning" today (effective in June) to "return to teaching" and "spend more time with his family!" Translated to English, that means that the Board of Trustees finally grew weary of his attempts to mastermind and control the athletic department. He is the reason we had Hootie, continued to have Hootie, and couldn't get rid of Hootie. He is the reason we gave Hootie millions of dollars we didn't owe him. He is the reason we couldn't get a top name basketball coach. He is a bad administrator. He is probably a bad "teacher." He is most certainly a bad person. This is a shining day in Razorback history! Go out and treat yourselves to something nice for lunch today! Go consult the bible and find out what the Israelites did whenever they escaped from Egypt. (Though, now that I think about it, they may have just bitched. If that is the case, don't do that. We are better than the Israelites anyway. That is why we have combo meals and cellular telephones. Right?)

Anywho, speaking of translations and the bible, here's a little Celebrate the "Resignation" of John White hyperlink for you: CLICK ME! Did I say "a little"? I meant the greatest website in the history of the universe not dedicated to our beloved Hogs. Enjoy it in freedom! (Some of you are aware of my fascination with lolcat. Others of you might not even know what lolcat is. Word to the uninitiated: acclimate yourself before jumping into the deep end. Start here, and here, and here . And celebrate!)

Official Ding-Dong-The-Wicked-Witch-Is
-Dead Press Conference is at 3:00. 50-48, as always, encourages attendance and heckling. (Heckling in lolcat would put you that much closer to heaven. K-Thx!)

50-48
Fuck Texas
WPS

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