50-48 #60: EMERGENCY UPDATE: ARKANSAS GIVES VARIOUS INDIAN NATIONS THE FINGER, WHILE SIMULTANEOUSLY THROWING LITTER OUT OF ITS CAR.

50-48 #60: EMERGENCY UPDATE: ARKANSAS GIVES VARIOUS INDIAN NATIONS THE FINGER, WHILE SIMULTANEOUSLY THROWING LITTER OUT OF ITS CAR. THEN THE INDIANS SLOWLY TURN THEIR HEADS, THE CAMERA ZOOMS IN, AND THEY CRY A SINGLE LONELY TEAR.

Did you know that the Choctaw word for “red” is “okla” and the Choctaw word for “people” is “humma”? Put them together, and you get Oklahoma, Red People, Indian Territory. You also get a basketball team that can’t hold the Razorbacks’ jock.

Hogs 96, Sooners 88. Suck it, Red People!

Here’s some stats:

CLICK.

To wit, CLICK. What a glorious way to close out this shitty year! What a way to usher in 2009, flush as it is with the hope and promise of all stories that have yet to be told. Sleep well, you princes of Arkansas, you kings of the South. The future is bright.

The 50-48 hiatus will be continuing for a brief while, but we’ll return in the new year stronger than ever, providing the sort of penetrating analysis that you’ve come to expect from us. We’ll break down the basketball season, update the status of the hallucinatory possum outside our apartment, engage in hypothetical digressions on aliens, zombies, and unicorns, and swoon hopelessly over the possibilities for this year’s Diamond Hogs.

Have a great New Year. Don’t die. Don’t contract a venereal disease. And remember: if you find yourself in a dark and musty pit, and you look up and see a shirtless man staring down at you, petting a small white dog, put the lotion in the basket. Don’t be a hero.

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